We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,--
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be overwise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
          We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
          We wear the mask!

I could write the saddest verses tonight.

 

Write, for example “The night is shattered with stars,

            twinkling blue, in the distance.”

 

The night wind spins in the sky and sings.

 

I can write the saddest verses tonight.

I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

 

She loved me, at times I loved her too.

How not to have loved her great still eyes.

 

I can write the saddest verses tonight.

To think that I don’t have her.  To feel that I have lost her.

 

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.

And the verse falls onto my soul like dew onto grass.

 

What difference that my love could not keep her.

The night is shattered, full of stars, and she is not with me.

 

That’s all.  In the distance, someone sings.  In the

            distance.

My soul is not at peace with having lost her.

 

As if to bring her closer, my gaze searches for her,

My heart searches for her, and she is not with me.

 

The same night that whitens the same trees.

We, of then, now are no longer the same.

 

I no longer love her, it’s true, but how much I loved her.

My voice searched for the wind that would touch her ear.

 

Another’s.  She will be another’s.  As before my kisses.

Her voice, her bright body.  Her infinite eyes.

 

I no longer love her, it’s true, but maybe I love her.

Love is so short, and forgetting is so long.

 

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,

my soul is not at peace with having lost her.

 

Though this may be the final sorrow she causes me,

and these the last verses I write for her.

 

-Pablo Nerudo

So i decided im going to stay in Poly for another year. So I'll be turning my 4 year program into a 5 year program. And its not because im feeling lazy. I was preparing my sched. for next semester when i realized i would have to take  4 electronics courses at once. That kinda worried me a little since each of them had a lab. I didnt want to split my attention among 7 different courses (4 electronics, 2 math and 1 civil) and do bad in all of them. So i felt that if i lightened the load and stayed the extra year as a part time student, i can do better in my studies. The last thing i want is to fail anything cuz i wasnt putting in enuf effort.

So like i was saying the frat was driving me crazy but i sat down with them today and cleared everything up. I even got me a new Nickname .... Brother Chin Music. I know it sounds kinda wierd but they realized it was an upgrade from Brother Ebay which made no sense to me. They figured that since I like pitching  and that I had an aggressive nature that the name suited me. So I think I will stick with it. I also got the ability to order stuff for the office. So know any Jerseys or supplies or anything related to the office is now bought by me. Basically another upgrade over just taking minutes and reveiwing forms. Hmmm..... What else is there? Ah yes i passed my Probablilty exam even though it wasnt the best grade. Not bad for a guy who misses an hour of class each week because of a conflict with another class. I guess there is an upside to not playing anymore games.

So  I joined this frat APO a while back cuz i tought i could gain something from them. It was a service fraternity so I joined ofcourse just so i can have something later on to put on my resume. During the pledge period, all pledges had to hold a service event, so I started a food drive. Blah blah blah an few weeks later i get in cuz i collected 162 cans. That was better that anyone elses project. So when they asked me what position i would like to have, I told them straight forward that i wanted to be Service VP. Instead what did they give me. The most stupidest job in the world. Secretary. Why u might ask. Its because my organizational skills. And what does the secretary do? All he does is type minutes and file paperwork. One would think that if i had the most successful project that i would get the Service VP position without a sweat.So i brought up my dislike for my position at a meeting we held. Later the president of the frat told me to email them with what i think a secretary should do and what abilities he should have. So i email the pres saying that i should atleast be able to choose the charity since i knew alot of them. I can atleast put that down on my resume right. That atleast i had some influence over the service APO does. Then what does the Pres do. They threaten to kick me out of APO if i every get into a debate with them. That what i asked for was against the National By Laws. If they think they can threaten me and get away with it then they have another thing someing to them. Those bastards wont know what hit them.